[Communication] Listen Up

The reason you don’t understand me, Edith, is that I’m speakin’ to you in English, and you’re listenin’ in dingbat." — Archie Bunker, All in the Family.

This statement, though amusing, has an unfortunate ring of truth to it. More often than not, when employees or customers disagree, it’s because someone was not really listening.

Most people, however, have not been trained in the art of listening. Just hearing the words of a speaker does not make for a good listener. Real listening — the kind that brings results, solves problems and clarifies the speaker’s point — requires a concentrated effort and an effective strategy to understand, interpret and respond. It also means temporarily putting the speaker’s agenda ahead of your own.

Effective listening is the most valuable skill you can teach employees. A customer service team that is skilled in listening helps organizations avoid expensive service problems due to miscommunication and brings more harmony into the workplace.

Sales teams that know how to listen are worth their weight in gold for a company’s bottom line. "Good listening is required in order to understand the customer’s wants and needs, establish appropriate benefits that you can offer, and create a customized sales pitch that will meet these objectives," says Drew Stevens, a national sales trainer, corporate consultant and author of Finish Line Selling. "Begin by asking a lot of open-ended questions and learn to answer a question with another question. When you ask questions, you have a chance to listen, and when you listen, you begin to better understand the client’s motivations, body language and issues."

Stevens devotes an entire chapter in his book to the importance of listening and claims that in today’s competitive environment "the worst thing you can do is talk too much." When working with companies, Stevens encourages everyone from receptionists to chief executives to develop their listening skills.

LISTENING TIPS. To become a truly customer-oriented pest management company with a growing base of loyal clients, try to incorporate these listening tips into your business encounters:

• Tune out distractions. Even though it may be difficult to ignore activities and conversations around you, it is crucial to focus on the person you are listening to. Maintaining eye contact is one way to help ensure that you don’t tune out.

• Don’t interrupt. Let the other person explain his or her point of view before you speak. If the meeting is confrontational, you may become defensive and be tempted to interrupt. Instead, force yourself to remain quiet and listen carefully to the speaker. By doing so, you may gain valuable information that you would otherwise miss.

• Ask questions. When the other person stops talking, ask open-ended questions to clarify the situation. This will prompt the speaker to include more details. If you don’t understand the reply, Stevens recommends paraphrasing it back to the speaker, which offers an opportunity for clarification and provides the time needed to digest a complex answer. In fact, this method of active listening has been promoted as a way to improve communications in all types of relationships. Often, repeating a statement back to the speaker along with your assessment of the speaker’s psychological state (i.e., "You seem to be angry that..."), is key to resolving an issue.

SOLVING PROBLEMS. According to the University of Colorado’s Conflict Research Consortium, which teaches active listening as part of its Online International Training Program on Intractable Conflict, "When people are in conflict, they often contradict each other, denying the opponent’s description of a situation. This tends to make people defensive, and they will either lash out, or withdraw and say nothing more. However, if they feel that their opponent is really attuned to their concerns and wants to listen, they are likely to explain in detail what they feel and why. If both parties to a conflict do this, the chances of being able to develop a solution to their mutual problem becomes much greater."

• Pay attention to nonverbal cues. You often can tell more from the way someone says something than from what is said. Be aware of the speaker’s tone of voice, facial expressions, energy level, posture or change in behavior.

• Reflect feelings. One of the most important listening skills involves developing the ability to empathize with the speaker by attempting to understand his or her thoughts and feelings. By showing that you understand the speaker’s point of view, you can create a relationship in which you are able to collaborate effectively in order to arrive at a mutually beneficial conclusion. Positioning yourself as the speaker’s advocate and problem-solver can pay off in customer loyalty and referrals.

• Pause before you respond. In many cases, people fail to listen well because they are focusing on what they want to say next instead of listening carefully to the speaker. We all want to appear intelligent and witty, but it’s OK to pause for a moment at the end of the speaker’s point before responding. If you spend your time mentally rehearsing your next comment, you’re likely to miss an important point from the speaker. In fact, this could make your next statement seem irrelevant and reflect poorly on you.

• Appear engaged. As you are watching and listening to the speaker, he or she is watching you. Nodding, smiling, frowning and other nonverbal responses let the speaker know that you are paying attention. Of course, you must be following the tips above in order to show that you are actively listening.

CONCLUSION. By practicing these tips, you and your co-workers can begin to improve your listening skills. More in-depth information is available in a variety of books on the topic — check your local library or book store. Regardless of your work situation, everyone benefits when they listen carefully. And customers remember when they’ve been heard.

The author offers marketing and customer service to help customers attract more clients. She can be reached at jvanklaveren@giemedia.com.