Life In The Trenches

One of the least favorite duties facing pest and termite control professionals is working in the dark (and often cramped) void called a crawlspace that is located beneath some structures. Although some crawlspaces afford ample room to move about, are relatively clean, and not too terrible a place to spend a couple dozen minutes, most are the opposite. As a new professionals undergoing training can attest, mustering up enough courage to follow a trainer into the dark space where spiders, snakes and God knows what else might make a sudden, fright-inducing appearance is an experience they will long remember. Not unlike the Navy television ads, each new crawlspace entered is an adventure, akin to exploring a place "where no man has gone before."

Okay, that’s stretching the truth a little — well, a lot. Ask anyone who has spent a few months in this business, however, and he or she can relate at least one "crawlspace story" where something interesting or humorous happened. This article retells some of the tales relayed to the author from fellow professionals.

THE HORDE! I will start with one of my own experiences. During a routine inspection of a four-star restaurant in Texas, I discovered a crawlspace, previously unknown to o exist, beneath the slab floor of the restaurant. The opening to this space had been covered for many years by a large cooler, thereby explaining why the crawlspace went unnoticed by the service technician, myself and others from the company. The day I happened by for my inspection, the cooler had been removed, thus leading to my discovery.

When the crawlspace cover was removed, more than 10,000 American cockroaches were scurrying inside. The underside, floor and walls of the crawlspace literally could not be seen because of the insects. Their movements produced a rustling sound audible up into the kitchen. I called the nearby branch to send over a service vehicle and a technician. The service manager decided to tag along after hearing about the situation.

While waiting for the "Roach Busters" to arrive, the restaurant’s manager indicated that a second crawlspace opening was located beneath the back steps to the building. Accessing the opening required removing lattice work nailed into place.

The service technician dutifully suited up and entered the crawlspace. As I waited to hand him the spray gun hooked to the truck sprayer, he took about 15 seconds to shine his flashlight around the crawlspace. The sight within caused a hasty exit accompanied by the statement, "Ain’t no #@$&* way I’m going in there!"

I was just turning to the service manager, who had taken one look at his employee’s face and remarked, "Hey, you’re the bug dude. You do it."

Never one to ask someone to do dirty work I wouldn’t do myself, I donned my coveralls and safety gear and crawled into battle. Now, if you close your eyes, you can picture what next transpired. Cockroaches treated with an insecticide increase their locomotive action, thus bringing a large number of them into contact with my body and my face. During the 15 minutes required to complete my task, I felt like the guy in the movie "Creepshow," with roaches covering my hands and face.

Now you might think such an experience would permanently turn me away from my chosen career; however, every second was worth it just to see the faces of my somewhat cowardly comrades as I removed my coveralls and cockroaches ran out from beneath the clothing. Oh, the swearing, the white faces and the heads turning away. I hadn’t before realized the squeamishness of even hardened pest control professionals. I believe 17 cockroaches in all had exited the crawlspace with me and my coveralls. A few days later I returned to check on my work and was relieved to find no live cockroaches. Further examination at the restaurant revealed the drain line to the garbage disposal was broken and was dumping ample food and water into the crawlspace to support this huge infestation.

THE TRAINEE. A colleague of mine at Terminix, Ed Phelan, has had more than his fair share of crawlspace experiences. As a branch manager in a small town, Ed had the duty of training each of his new sales people. The first home they visited for a termite inspection happened to have a crawlspace. Ed, as the trainer, took the lead, crawling headfirst into a tight crawlspace exhorting his timid charge to follow him willingly into the dark abyss. In many crawlspaces, the plumbing drain lines and heating ducts lie on the floor requiring an inspector to maneuver over them. This house was one such place. Ed is not a small individual, mind you, so he explained to his trainee that he would roll over the drain line in front of him, squeezing himself up and over, parallel to the pipe.

As Ed cleared the pipe and landed on his back, he felt himself land on something large that collapsed immediately with a loud pop. In the split second following that noise, Ed’s greatest fear was confirmed by the ripe odor. He had rolled onto a dead cat — a freshly dead cat full of blow fly larvae.

During the few seconds this event took place, the trainee was following his fearless leader close behind, which put his face a few inches from the carcass as it was crushed beneath Ed’s body. The odor confined within the tight space prompted considerable retching by the two men. Ed, being experienced or having a stronger stomach managed to retain his lunch. To Ed’s chagrin, he now had to crawl back out through the dead cat and through the "present" left by his trainee. Apparently, the trainee was completely unnerved by the experience, as he didn’t stay with the company much longer.

During another routine termite inspection, Ed encountered a terrifying sight, one that would scar him for life (maybe not, but if you know Ed, it might have). As he crawled along the foundation wall dutifully inspecting the sill plate and header area for signs of termite activity, he approached a corner where the wall took a sharp bend to the right. As Ed turned the corner, he came face-to-face with a fearsome monster full of teeth, just inches from his eyes. Ed, being the jumpy sort, flinched back in fright and smacked his head against a floor joist so hard he almost knocked himself out. Then, in his own words, "It sounded like a tennis shoe in a dryer as my head thumped against one joist after another as I beat it the hell out of there."

What monster could create such panicked frenzy in a grown man? How about a dead, mummified opossum, with its mouth frozen open and teeth bared, propped up against the wall just around the corner where an unsuspecting termite inspector might come upon it. It was a practical joke played by a termite technician or inspector in anticipation of the next person visiting that home. To Ed’s credit, though, he collected himself and reentered the crawlspace to complete the inspection.

TRAPPED! David Saunders, an entomologist with the Allied Terminix Franchise, once spent nearly a night, or possibly longer, in a crawlspace. While inspecting a large nursing home crawlspace during the late afternoon, David had crawled about 100 feet beneath the building when he heard a noise that filled him with dread. The door to the crawlspace located in the floor was being moved into place and closed. That tiny beam of light off in the distance that served as David’s beacon to the safe world above was suddenly extinguished, leaving David with a dim flashlight with only the Lord knowing how much power was left in its batteries.

You might think to yourself, "No problem." In a crawlspace as large as this one, however, finding the crawlspace opening without the accompanying light through the entrance is not easy. The opening was not located near the wall but somewhere out in the middle of the several thousand square foot crawlspace. And David also had the knowledge that this opening was located in a closet that most likely had been closed and locked for the night. He remembers believing he was going to have to spend the night.

Painstakingly retracing his path, David crawled to where he thought he saw the light had disappeared and searched for some time before finally locating the edges of the opening’s cover, all the while silently praying his flashlight’s batteries would hold out. He couldn’t lift the cover because the janitor’s cart had been pushed on top of the opening’s cover before the closet was closed. Now, panic began to set in.

Yelling loudly, it took more than 15 minutes to attract someone’s attention enough so that they could ascertain the cries for help were emanating from the closet and the crawlspace underneath. Being trapped in a crawlspace where no one knows where you are may well be one of the greatest fears of any pest management professional.

IT’S ALIVE. Anyone who has been in more than a few dozen crawlspaces has encountered a live animal at least once and probably more than once. I had the experience with the cockroaches described earlier and also had the unfortunate luck to drill a block foundation wall directly into a yellowjacket nest. Imagine my hasty retreat when the angry wasps began pouring out of the hole I had just drilled.

In gathering these stories, a common theme is crawling into a crawlspace heavily infested with fleas. It seems that most professionals have such an incident to recount. Dr. Mike Potter, of the University of Kentucky, had an encounter with a much larger animal, however. While inspecting a crawlspace, Mike felt something enter the leg of his crawl suit. It was large and moved aggressively which was enough to prompt a yell and a jig of sorts in an attempt to dislodge whatever it was. You can imagine (some of you know) how difficult it is, while in a crawlspace, to twist your body into a position where you can access your pant leg in the event an animal decides to take up residence. Mike’s initial fear that a rat was headed toward his "vital organs" was unfounded. As it turned out, a large bullfrog had accidentally jumped into the opening of his pant’s leg. Relieved, he finished his inspection.

In another incident early in consultant Dr. Bob Corrigan’s career, he found himself deep in a crawlspace when his flashlight quit on him. As he fiddled with the flashlight, he heard an animal begin growling. He had no idea what kind of animal, he just remembers the fear the growling instilled. He managed to slowly extricate himself, backing out, all the while pleading with the unseen "predator" to be nice. Upon reflection, Bob believes it might have been a raccoon. Ever since, he carries a back-up flashlight wherever he goes – a good practice for us all to follow.

RATS AND SNAKES. Planting the thought of rats and mice running into crawl suits into the mind of a young trainee can be great fun to experienced professionals who, knowing better, should stick to the task of teaching the finer skills of termite work. In one case, a trainee was regaled with tales of rodents in crawlspaces for several days. Then while the trainee was drilling the foundation voids in a crawlspace, his "trusted" trainers snuck in behind him and rolled a racquetball up his leg and over his back. The ensuing yelling and flopping about like a carp on a riverbank served up a good laugh for the perpetrators who later tried to make it up to him by buying his lunch. (The trainee eventually repaid his tormentors in kind.)

Frogs are innocuous, but snakes can instill panic and genuine fear. Take Hank Jardine’s heart-stopping discovery. While inspecting one home, Hank was doing what all good inspectors do — turning over any cellulose debris in the crawlspace to check for termites. In this case, however, the log he thought he was grabbing was actually a large water snake. Hank states emphatically he remembers nothing of the next 15 to 20 seconds following the sudden realization a serpent was in his midst. He does remember, however, that upon exiting the crawlspace, the homeowners were rushing out of the house asking him what was wrong. He was still in shock and said, "Excuse me?"

"Well, we heard this scream," the homeowners replied, "And then all we heard was a loud bang followed by %#&*@. . . bang, %$*!@. . . bang, @#&*?+. . . bang, ?+*!@#. . . bang, *%$+?#@. . ." Hank had to laugh because each time his head hit a floor joist, he swore — loudly. He said he never felt any pain and explained very politely that "no way in hell" was he going back in there until the snake was extricated. (Hank survived to later have an encounter with a pit bull jumping through a plate glass window to get at him...but that’s another story.)

Another professional, who we’ll call Bob, checked out a home for a termite inspection report in rural Mississippi. Bob remembers the house being very old and the soil beneath in the crawlspace being so dry it formed a dry, choking dust. Not far into his inspection, Bob made a chilling discovery. Numerous snake skins were present hanging from the foundation walls and from floor joists. Then he heard the sound that freezes the blood of any Southerner — the distinctive rattle of an Eastern Diamondback. Moving very slowly, Bob shined his flashlight around in an attempt to locate the snake. Fortunately, the rattler turned out to be 10 feet away coiled in a little hollowed out depression.

Bob slowly backed out of the crawlspace and, sweating not a little bit, moved away from the house to catch his breath. The home’s owner, a farmer, drove up, and Bob explained his discovery. The farmer needed the inspection completed because he had plumbers coming to fix pipes. Snakes in the crawlspace serve as outstanding plumber repellent. He asked Bob if there was anything they could do. Bob half-jokingly replied, "Well, have you got a shotgun?" To which the customer, being a good Southerner, produced one from his truck.

Not having the luxury of thinking the problem through carefully, Bob might have altered his subsequent actions had he considered the consequences of crawling into a snake-infested crawlspace with a shotgun. Like a true professional, he wanted to help the customer, and shooting the snake seemed like a good idea . . . at the time.

Bob checked the gun to familiarize himself with its functions, then crawled bravely in to face the snake. He was relieved to find the snake had not moved from its hollow — however, it remained coiled with its tail emitting the warning rattle. Bob slowly took a bead on the snake, breathed out slowly and squeezed the trigger. You can imagine the resulting chaos.

As the shotgun discharged in its characteristic loud roar, Bob instantly realized his first mistake. Within the confines of the tight space, the gun’s discharge completely deafened his hearing, causing him pain and the instant fear his eardrums had burst from the concussion.

Upon firing, the shotgun’s blast stirred up the dry dust in the crawlspace, causing instant loss of vision and filling the air with lung-clogging particles. Bob found he couldn’t breath. Compounding the situation was the fact that the crawlspace’s opening was obscured. He would have to feel his way back out. Choking on dust, his eyes watering, and his hearing shot (for the moment), he had the disturbing thought that, one, he didn’t know if he had hit the snake, and, two, he really hadn’t taken the time to see if more snakes were present.

Fortunately, Bob survived, but he learned an important lesson. Never take a shotgun into an enclosed crawlspace. It took awhile for the dust to settle and for Bob’s hearing to return, but the inspection was eventually completed, the report written and customer made happy.

CONCLUSION. These anecdotes are but a few I could include due to space limitations. It is fun to get together and relate war stories, most of which are very humorous, especially if told by a talented storyteller like Ed Phelan. If you have a particularly interesting or funny crawlspace story, type it up and mail or fax it to Jodi Dorsch, PCT magazine, 4012 Bridge Ave., Cleveland, OH 44113, (fax: 216/961-0364). It may be included in a future article.

The author is manager of technical services, Terminix International, Memphis, Tenn.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

A routine service call turned out to be anything but for Jerry Bukovsky, regional technical specialist for Terminix International, Columbia, Md.

Several summers ago, Bukovsky and crew were called to inspect the premises of a now-defunct linen store, a building that was part of a strip mall in Baltimore. Their services were needed because the store had been overrun with blow flies and larder beetles, plus an unbearable stench that was wafting throughout the facility.

Between the stench, the blow flies and the larder beetles, Bukovsky deduced that an animal had probably died somewhere on the site and insects were feasting on the corpse.

"We went in and pretty much tore the place apart to try and find the breeding source," Bukovsky said. "We checked the crawlspace and found thousands of blow flies and larder beetles."

Still, they were unable to find the source. Bukovsky and crew then went through and checked under floorboards, attics and storage closets and all the usual places where a dead animal might be located. "We explored just about every avenue possible until we were left with one last place to check…the chimney," Bukovsky said.

Since the building was several stories high, members of the Baltimore Fire Department were called upon. A firefighter climbed up the ladder to the chimney’s opening with flashlight in hand. Nothing could prepare him for what happened next.

"He shone the light down and could hardly believe his eyes…there were two feet sticking straight up," Bukovsky said. "He was expecting to see a raccoon or some other small animal. He was not expecting to see two feet."

The feet (and rest of the body) were those of a burglar who was responsible for a rash of robberies to nearby businesses. It turns out the robber had been breaking and entering into businesses by climbing down their chimneys — that was, until he met his match at the linen store. Apparently the robber had gotten stuck in the chimney and had somehow died, perhaps of starvation or a climbing-related accident.

After discovering the body, firefighters then broke open the chimney and retrieved the body…or what was left of the body.

"I’m not even sure they were able to identify the body," Bukovsky recalls. "The larder beetles had attacked and gotten him pretty good and when larder beetles attack a body, you know it’s been there awhile. That, plus it was summer and the body had been decomposing quickly. (The firefighters) had to take him out in pieces."

Even a veteran pest management professional like Bukovsky, who has encountered just about anything and everything imaginable under crawlspaces and in chimneys, was amazed at the discovery.

"Yeah, it was quite a find," he says. "I’ve found the usual things like people’s memorabilia and I even found the stump of a tree under a crawlspace before, but I had never come across anything like that." —Brad Harbison