Time Bomb

In today’s world of instant and always-available communication, work-from-home options and combined business/pleasure travel, the borders between one’s work and home lives can easily become blurred. Temporary or minor blurring can generally be managed, but an ongoing imbalance between one’s work and home lives can lead to unhealthy stress. "When there is a gap between where you are and where you want to be is when stress occurs," said Randy Moser, president and CEO of TMMG, High Point, N.C.

At that point, those who have learned coping skills will take steps to regain balance, while those who have not will generally fight or flee — which only causes more stress and imbalance, Moser said. "Your body is not made to handle a lot of stressors," he explained. "If you don’t take care of yourself, it is guaranteed that at some point, you will hit the wall."

Moser speaks from experience.

HITTING THE WALL. A former market manager of an industry supplier, Moser was a self-declared "typical person" — working 80-100 hours a week, traveling extensively and staying constantly connected with technology. In 2002, Moser had been on a fairly typical travel schedule — in training from dawn til 10 p.m.; e-mailing in his hotel room until midnight, then getting a few hours sleep and starting it all over again.

Finally back in his office the following week, Moser was working when such pains erupted he feared he was having a heart attack. Taken first to the health services department, Moser was then rushed to the hospital by ambulance. As he was being transported, Moser asked the ambulance attendant, "Am I going to die?" The man gravely responded, "I don’t know."

"That was the longest ride in my life," Moser said. If the attendant had said "yes" or "no," Moser said he would have felt better able to prepare himself one way or the other. Instead, the uncertainty led to a greater unease and his making of a pact with himself that if he survived, something would have to change. He wasn’t sure quite what that was, he said, but it would have to be something.

WORK-LIFE BALANCE. That "something" became a focus on, and then a business devoted to, work-life balance. He always had had a passion for the process, and after attending incident-mandated psychological coaching and feeling that he hadn’t gained any insights he didn’t already know, "I decided I would develop my own plan," Moser said. Moser’s resulting LifeZone program focuses on eight key life dimensions centered on self, relationships and work, with work-life balance being the harmonious relationship between these key life dimensions.

Using an example of time and energy devoted to the area of work, and the resulting stress, Moser asks, "If you work hard, why do you have to feel guilty about going home at 4:30 (p.m.) or five o’clock?" The bottom line is that people work hard because of fear, the fear of losing one’s job, he said, adding, "but if you’re putting too much energy into that one life dimension, something has to give."

Any business has the right to expect performance from its people, however, "the individual has a right to expect a life," Moser said, adding that it is the individual’s responsibility to make that happen. "People blame work for work-life imbalance, but you and you alone are responsible," he said. "You and you alone set your expectations."

MAINTAINING PERSPECTIVE. This does not mean, however, that the scales will — or even should — always balance evenly between work and life. Jamie Ogle, president of Lloyd Pest Control in San Diego, Calif., said, "There are times that (work) has to be a No. 1 priority. But hopefully, there is also enough balance in other ways."

Lloyd Pest has been in business for 77 years and, though it now has about 250 employees, "we still think of ourselves as a family business," Ogle said. As such, the management team works hard while at work, but takes the time to spend time with family — whether that be coaching a Little League team, attending school events or simply eating dinner together. "We try not to take on too much and get stretched too thin," Ogle said.

Keeping it in perspective is one of the best ways to maintain balance and reduce stress, Ogle said. "At any moment, life happens," he said. "Good things happen, and the other side happens as well." There can be marriages, births, graduations, as well as injuries and deaths; with so many employees in the company, both positive and negative things are always happening. And, Ogle added, "there are lots of things going on in the world, and other people are dealing with much worse."

From the experience gained in his eight years as president of Lloyd, Ogle advises that a person starting a new business or undertaking a new job understand that time and experience will help you learn to deal with stressful situations. His own first years had their full share of sleepless nights, he said, but those have lessened over time. "It doesn’t mean I never have trouble sleeping or that I’m not in the office at four in the morning because I’m awake, but this occurs less and less as time goes on."

FAMILY BUSINESS. Such a philosophy is applicable for both the large corporation and the small family business. Harden Blackwell, president of the family-owned Terminix Company franchise in Greensboro, N.C., says he does not believe that running a family business is any easier or harder than any other; rather, both have their own set of plusses and minuses. "Some make you want to stay, and some drive you nuts and make you want to get out," he said. "The grass isn’t any greener on the other side."

To maintain work and home balance in a family business, Blackwell said, "You just have to understand that what goes on at work is at work and what goes on at home is at home. Try to separate them and not take disagreements home with you."

It is this same concept that UMass Family Business Center Director Ira Bryck presents in his sessions and writings. "Treat your business like a business and your family like a family," he said. "Don’t confuse the rules and the roles."

Eighty percent of U.S. businesses are family businesses, and these companies employ about the same percent of the U.S. workforce; family business is, indeed, big business. Of these, those who have the most trouble separating family from business are those who do not like to wear multiple hats of family, owner and manager, Bryck said. Rather than realizing there are times to speak as CEO and times to speak as Dad, some will always take the family line, saying, "I’m your father and I said …"

"Understand that it’s not personal; business is business," Blackwell said, adding, "That’s hard to do. It’s easier said than done. Just remember that everyone is working for the same thing."

BALANCE VARIATION. Determining the "right" balance between work and home is difficult to assess because no two people are alike, said Bryck. "There are many kinds of people, so it’s not like everyone is going through the same thing," he said. Instead, Bryck said, there are those who take pride in being workaholics and live under the philosophy of "work hard/play hard." These people put a great deal of time and energy into both their work and their outside activities, but, he said, "that is not sustainable for everybody."

Moser agrees with this assessment, putting up Olympic Gold Medal Winner Michael Phelps as an example. "Phelps, by some people’s definition was totally out of balance," Moser said. While some people can deal with a temporary imbalance, if Phelps maintains the same pace for another four years, he could start to have trouble. But, Moser added, "It is not for me to judge. As long as the other life dimensions are in harmony, then who are we to judge?" (Editor’s note: This article was submitted to PCT on Oct. 20, 2008, a month before Olympian Michael Phelps was photographed at a party in a compromising position where marijuana was allegedly present. We can try to make other predictions about the future but we can’t promise we’ll be as successful.)

However, the theory behind work hard/play hard is adaptable to all. That is, to be at one’s most efficient, it is important to focus on each area separately and maintain differentiation between the two. During work time, focus on that; and during free time, do not do anything work related, Bryck said. "A big problem for a lot of people in work/life balance is multi-tasking; trying to work and relax at the same time. Experts are saying more and more that multi-tasking simply muddles everything."

In psychological circles, the ever-blurring line between work and home is known as the boundary or border theory. As described in a study by Stephan Desrochers, University of Maine Farmington, and Leisa Sergeant, University of Melbourne, researchers have long recognized that work and family are not "separate spheres," but are interdependent domains or roles with "permeable" boundaries. Some…have expressed concerns over the blurring boundary between work and family that workers can experience if there is too much work-family integration in their lives.

ATTAINING BALANCE. Such theories are applicable regardless of one’s position or role in a company. Whether he is presenting to pest management technicians or executives with PhDs, corporations or family businesses, Moser sees the same life issues and the same need for balancing of one’s self, relationships and work dimensions.

While companies can help employees maintain balance by providing benefits and options, these will only have real benefit if they specifically address the needs of the employee, Moser said. For example, flex time can be of great value to a parent who wishes to attend his or her children’s school events; overtime pay to the one who is behind on bills; and employer-paid health care for the employee with family health issues.

Of all things a company can do, one of the most valuable is simply, and sincerely, caring about and for its employees. According to a Gallup survey cited by Bryck, 12 elements top the list as positively impacting worker performance. Included on the list are knowing expectations; being recognized, praised and encouraged; feeling cared about as a person; and having one’s opinions count. (A list of the 12 is available at http://gmj.gallup.com/content/811/Feedback-Real.aspx.)

These findings are validated on a regular basis at Lloyd. "People here feel good about where they work," Ogle said. "When we do something good for someone in crisis, other people know." They know, and they talk about it, he said, which makes them feel valued and that they, too, will be supported if a crisis hits them. While Ogle knows that such support increases employees’ loyalty and performance for the company, it is not simply a business issue.

But even more beneficial is a person’s self-determined need for fulfillment to correct their individual imbalance. Moser cites one woman who was imbalanced in her self-wellness (health/exercise) and relationships (time with her children). Her life was rebalanced with the purchase of a bicycle: whenever weather permits she rides with her girls, which has become a bonding and wellness time for them all — and an activity which has since been joined by her husband as well.

FINDING YOUR BALANCE. The basic philosophy behind attaining balance, Moser explained, is defining your best and worst case scenario for any given dimension, then determining where you are on a scale between the two and identifying where you want to be. The gap between these numbers then indicates the extent of the imbalance — the greater the gap, the greater the imbalance.

For example, the extremes of wellness for one person could be a worst case of death and a best case of running a marathon. On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being best), a runner may put herself at a 7 for where she is and a 10 for where she’d like to be; whereas one without aspirations in this area may put his numbers at 5 and 6. The second person’s numbers are lower, but the gap between the two is less, thus this area is not considered to have imbalance for him.

Because the first person has unfulfilled goals in this area, her numbers show a greater imbalance and could be a priority for action planning to close the gap. One thing to remember in such instances, however, is that striving to achieve the goal is not the only option. Rather, Moser said, one also needs to determine if the goal is realistic. If a person does not have the physical capability, or is simply not willing to prioritize the time to commit to the preparation for a marathon, she is setting herself up with unrealistic expectations and defeating her own attempts at balance.

*************************

Tips from Those Who’ve Been There

Jamie Ogle, President, Lloyd Pest Control, San Diego, Calif.:

When it seems that the day is really dark, try to maintain perspective. Recognize that things could be worse; then read the newspaper, and you’re sure to find someone who is having a worse day than you.

Take time for yourself. For me, exercise is extremely important. It helps me clear my head — even if it’s only a half hour a day.

Harden Blackwell, President, Terminix Company franchise in Greensboro, N.C.

Run your business so your managers are able and empowered to handle the problems they are paid to handle. Sometimes it’s better to stay out of their hair.

Spend time reading business publications – then apply what you read. The key is taking the time and having the energy to put it to work. That’s the hard part: the easy part is reading about it; the hard part is implementing it.

Randy Moser, President and CEO, TMMG, High Point, N.C.

Take care of yourself first. Often people know that something just doesn’t feel right in their lives, but they don’t know why. In order to regain life balance, you need to determine why, identify the life dimension which is out of balance, and then take steps to correct it.

Self-wellness and relationships are the two areas that most often come up in work-life imbalance. But I often find that people who go through the session also realize that they are not as out of balance as they thought, and simple steps can be taken to bring things back into balance.

Ira Bryck, Director, UMass Family Business Center in Hadley, Mass.

Decrease stress and gain efficiency at work by increasing your ability to focus. If you have a door, close it when you need to focus; for employees in open areas, consider the implementation of quiet time, such as using red and green signs or a schedule to show when you cannot be interrupted — and enforce the policy. Setting specific times to read and answer email — even including it in your email signature — can also vastly increase efficiency and decrease stress.

To begin to balance your home life, try living more "intentionally" by planning game nights and dinners with family, no-TV nights (or weeks) creating a protected environment in your home and in your head where work cannot encroach.

*******************

HAPPINESS ECONOMICS. Such individual assessment is also important because "the reason you want work-life balance is because you want to be happy," Bryck said. "But people don’t really know what makes them happy, so they strive for what society says should make them happy."

In fact, he said, happiness economics studies have shown that security, not wealth, makes people happy. The greatest increase in happiness occurs when a person who has been in poverty gets out and is able to pay his/her bills. After that point, there is no significant increase in happiness regardless of the millions or billions which may be acquired.

In addition, it is often the time you spend alone that enables you to assess your life and find balance. "As Americans, we have the freedom to think as we see fit, but we spend very little time just thinking. The time you spend by yourself without having your mind filled with other people’s thoughts is very little." Bryck said. Instead of flipping on the radio or iPod or plugging in your phone’s headset while you drive or walk the dog, give yourself some quiet time, he advised, comparing this to time you spend in the shower. "You are less distracted in the shower, so your brilliant thoughts are able to get through."

TECHNOLOGY. Technology, in general, has had both positive and negative impacts on work-life balance. A revolutionary advance was the introduction of laptops and the ability to take the office with you wherever you are. But today’s extended office — available on a 2x2 Blackberry or iPhone screen means even more freedom for some…and less for others. While the ability to stay connected enables some to more comfortably take time away from the office, for others, this same connectivity impedes the ability to ever really get away, relax and spend uninterrupted time with family or alone.

Blackwell is of the first group. With technology, he said, everyone is operating off the same information because everyone has the same information — and access to a lot more than in the past — right at their fingertips. "I have a place at the beach where I go almost every weekend. I can work as efficiently there as here," he said.

"I think that’s a balance today — that you don’t have to be sitting there 24 hours a day," Blackwell said. Then gradually talking himself to the second group and back, he added, "With cell phones you are always in touch…which is probably not as good. Maybe it’s not such a great balance…but if you like what you’re doing …"

Before cell phones, Blackwell said, he called in to the office every day. "Today I check voice mail 10 times a day." He can get his email by phone instantaneously. "That’s a curse and it’s a blessing." But despite the ambivalence, Blackwell is in favor of the technological advances. "I’m a big believer in technology. Overall it’s a winner…but it has its drawbacks."

*****************

North Carolina Firm Offers
Free Work/Life Balance Workshop

In an effort to help people during the current economic times and uncertainty, TMMG of High Point, N.C. has announced that the delivery of their LifeZone Triage work/life balance workshop is being offered at no charge.

"We want to play our part in assisting individuals in managing their work/life balance," said TMMG President Randy Moser.

The "LifeZone Balance Four" series is an energized experience utilizing scientific methodology, original modeling techniques, tools, and ideas to help address the issue of work/life balance. Statistics show that 88 percent of employees complain they have a hard time juggling work and life — (Aon Consulting). LifeZone Triage is a 90-minute program that provides the tools to continuously benchmark progress and immediately incorporates them into daily living; focusing on identifying priorities and assisting thought processes unique to the individual.

"We see a lot of people anxious and searching for a solution. Our team decided that we would donate our time to the delivery of the LifeZone® Triage in an effort to help people achieve a better quality of life", adds Moser.

The only charges associated with this program will be a fee per person to cover the expense of the workshop’s printed material and any coach’s travel expenses if required.

Any company or organization looking for an effective work/life balance initiative needs to review this option. More and more organizations are looking for work/life balance initiatives in today’s working environment in an effort to assist personnel in establishing a better quality of life while maintaining optimal performance in the workplace.

TMMG is a group of professionals focused on assisting organizations in optimizing human performance. Its coaches assist individuals in evaluating their lifestyles and work performance to balance competing responsibilities. TMMG’s programs serve as a catalyst to make a difference in the lives of those who desire a better work/life balance and provide coaching to individuals to make changes that optimize performance in the work environment.

For more information and details, please contact Becky Elias becky@leapfrogmktg.com. or visit www.lifezn.net.

*********************

COMMUNITY. But it is the age-old face-to-face community that can supersede even these technological advances. Having a network or support group with whom one can bounce ideas or confide concerns can be a vital outlet for any business owner or manager. "People that belong to any kind of community are happier," Bryck said.

Unfortunately, such networking has been in decline the last two decades, he said, citing research conducted by the National Science Foundation in 1985 and replicated in 2004. With its purpose to assess the evolution of personal networks and voluntary association memberships, the study found that:

• The mean network size of confidants with whom people discuss important matters fell by one-third, from three close confidants in 1985 to two in 2004.

• Networks now tend to be centered on spouses and parents, with fewer contacts through voluntary associations and neighborhoods.

• Nearly three times as many 2004 respondents said there is no one with whom they discuss important matters.

Both Ogle and Blackwell also cite networking as important. As a Terminix franchise owner, Blackwell said, "We have a great working relationship with other franchises which gives you people to bounce things off of. That’s a tremendous advantage."

But even for those who are not with a franchise, he added that this is a great industry for networking, and everyone should take full advantage of groups such as NPMA to share their experience and ideas. "That’s the nice thing about the pest control business — it seems like everyone is willing to share. It saves you from making mistakes and learning the hard way," Blackwell said, adding, "We’ve built our business on that."

Ogle agrees, noting that when one is starting a business or taking on a new executive role, "having a strong sounding board or mentor to be able to talk to is essential." Even after you’ve been in the business or position for a while, it is advantageous to have an association with a network of people in positions similar to yours. Being able to sit down with peers who are wearing shoes similar to yours can help you in your business and your home life.

The continuing evolution of the business environment, its technological advances and ability to work from anywhere, anytime has brought an ease to business that did not exist in previous decades. The same forces have also, however, blurred the lines between the life dimensions of work and home, making it all too easy to blend the two and lose focus on either. Taking steps to assess the dimensions of your own life and refocus your priorities accordingly can bring your life into balance and keep you from hitting the wall.

The author is a frequent contributor to PCT magazine and can be contacted at llupo@giemedia.com.